Just Die(t) Already

Two weeks ago, I went to New Orleans and spent some time with some friends, one of whom is a bodybuilder (or maybe he just works out a lot to stay hunky) on a no-fat diet.  I have another friend who is doing the Atkins no-carb thing.  (Actually, I know several people allegedly on Atkins diets, some of whom have always been thin and well built.  Why do they need a special diet?  Societal guilt, probably.)

I’m beginning to think that the main benefit of these extreme diets is to give the people on them something to bitch and moan about.  They complain that there’s nothing on the menu they can eat.  They complain about how tasteless it is.  They have to ask about how everything is prepared.  They claim they’ll blow up like a balloon if they eat the smallest bit of bread (as though it were one of those compressed sponge animals or something made of FRERP from the old Super Friends cartoon).

Okay, you’re on a fucking diet (whether you need to be or not).  We get it.  We also get that you’re (a) trying to spread your pain around and (b) trying to guilt us all into not enjoying our food the same way you don’t get to (or won’t let yourself).  Misery shared is misery decreased, or something like that.

Sure, I could stand to pare out some of the excess fat and carbs from my diet and lose a few pounds — and I have been doing so — but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.  Mom always said to eat a “balanced” diet, and that can mean just reducing the things that are bad (make that: “less than good”) for you, not cutting them out entirely.  Everything in moderation.

So next time you are out on the town, live a little.  Ease up on the diet and enjoy life for a couple hours.  If nothing else, you’ll let everyone else you’re with enjoy theirs.

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Comment by Daniel (from Kentucky) / received May 27, 2004

I had been on the Atkins to get rid of the excessive weight I gained after my partner died in 2000.  I only mentioned it as a prelude to let you know that, while the Atkins Diet works, there are some severe drawbacks that are never mentioned.

First off I should have eased off after 8 weeks but didn’t I went a full 16 weeks and ended up loosing muscle mass.  Not “Mr Happy and the twins” but general muscle mass.  At my ripe old age of 54, that is scary!  I wonder if I will be able to get any of it back.

Updated on January 31, 2011